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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Finally!! It's Christmas!!

I had a truly awful Christmas Day--not because Dave and I were apart--that I could handle. No it was because my father was his usual Christmas neurotic, nasty, vile self.  I had flashbacks of all the Christmases of my life while I lived at home and and how he did his best to ruin everything for Mother and I. And when he told me I was lying about being sick with the stomach flu, that was it, I left. In case anyone thinks I'm not being understanding of someone who is old, etc. let me tell you, my father has been like this all the years I can remember.  I want to love him, I try to love him, but he is selfish and mean spirited, among other things. He disrespected my mother while she was alive and he disrespects her in death and that really hurts me. On Christmas he complained about everything I brought and was totally unappreciative of the gifts, the food, and my presence.  I really wished I had stayed home. How many times have I come home feeling awful because of the way he has treated me and talked to me.  This time I was still feeling awful the next day. But out of this I have decided that I have had enough and I going to make some changes in my life. More on this in a  forthcoming blog post.

Duffy warming up for present opening!
The happy news is that Dave finally arrived here today, after fixing the his friend's wife's vehicle, so that the friend could loan his pickup to Dave.  And the weather gods cooperated and no one was sick, and it was Christmas!! We opened gifts and had our Christmas dinner of turkey, stuffing, holupche (cabbage rolls) made with sour cabbage and basmati rice, homemade beet pickles, homemade cranberry sauce, and garden grown squash. We also had a dry red wine made by my neighbor Gus Pucci.  No fancy labels like Diana showed us on her blog, but the price is sure right (free) and all his wine is good stuff.  Dessert was this:

We didn't eat the whole plateful!!

Duffy getting started on his stocking.

His new toy--Santa pup. Get a load of those teeth!!

Opening a Paws Absorbant Drying Towel for pets.  We'll see if it works like they say it will!!

The date doesn't really matter so much when it comes to these holidays, it's being together with your nearest and dearest that matters most of all. My Dave and my Duffy! ♥


Jane said...

I'm glad you had a nice Christmas celebration in the end. Duffy is a lucky boy :) I'm sorry to hear your disappointing experience with your father - it's a tough thing to deal with, I also do not have a good relationship with my father - his choice, not ours.

onecollie said...

Hurray for finally getting your Christmas!!! Your supper sounds yummy & I would have eaten the whole plate of dessert for you LOL!!
Sorry to hear your dad is being so mean:(
Life is so short & precious To be so mean, good for you for walking out, I would have. Maybe if you do that everytime your dad disrepects you or your mom he will stop.
Duffy looks so cute ♥ How I love his big white collar ♥♥

Brianne said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dad and glad to hear that you're thinking about setting boundaries to protect yourself. I have a difficult relationship with my mother, and it's really a mess sometimes, trying to juggle feeling guilty and obligated with the few positive memories with the knowledge of how she generally treats me. It's challenging, I'm sorry that you have to deal with it. Collies make everything a little better though. :)

Squishy said...

OmGosh. Love the food and I, like Jolene would have eaten the whole plate of dessert. Good for you for walking out on your dad and his horrible behavior. He sounds like my dad, who was an alcoholic and it took me into my late 30's the realize he was kind for about 30 minutes then would start in. I'd leave nearly every time from his house in tears. He alternated telling me how awful my brother(s) were and they were out of the will, to me being out of the will, etc. It wasn't about the will, it was his spirit and he covered many subjects to get me to cry. I finally got a hold of myself, realized my father was sick, I couldn't change him but I could change how I dealt with him so every time I went to visit him I ALWAYS had an appt. after seeing him that I had to leave for ~ like 30 minutes. It worked. I also had to do this with Pierre's mother who was so vile to me after Pierre died and she was so angry with me. Every time she started in on the phone, I'd say as fast as lightening, "I love you. I am done with this phone call." and hang up. You do not have to feel guilty about looking out for yourself. You love your father, but it doesn't mean you have to listen to all this shit you've endured for your whole life. If he starts in 10 minutes after you see him, leave. Love you dad ~ gotta go! Training. Just like a dog or horse. It works. Take care of yourself and yes, those Santa teeth are BIG!!!!

J. said...

Yum...that Christmas baking looks so tasty.

I'm sorry that your father did his best to spoil the holiday. There's just no pleasing some people and it's sad. Best thing to do (as we know) is to look after yourself first, emotionally and in daily life, and just leave him to it.

Big ((HUGS)) my friend. You're an awesome and amazing person (and daughter), it's just his loss that he can't realize it.

Dianne SS said...

Well I'm not alone in having to deal with difficult and frustrating parental relationships. I am sorry that we all have to deal with this stuff.


Glad you, Dave and Duffy enjoyed a late Essexmas.

Some people are always glum, there is nothing you can do about it. There glass will always be half empty. Long ago I realized that I could only control my actions and responses to a situation. I could not control another persons feelings and responses.

Families are complicated at times. I wish you the best of luck, with coming to terms with yours. It sounds like you are going along the right path for you.

Essex, Sherman & Dog Dad

Anna said...

Greetings from Poland for You and Your collie
My collie blog